to me .
i perceived friendship as connection between people .
something that was there . regardless the judgements of others.
g0od orr bad .
we didnt have to spend ALL the time in the world .
but at least .
i knew where i st0od with you .
i knew that i was important to youu . vice versa .

friendship was when .
you MEANT what youu saidd & did.
andd it was sincere .no lies. every bit of it .

we never had to SAY we were friends .
ourr actions confirmed everything we needed to know .

friends didnt have to come in numbers .
it didnt matter to me .

oh well . lots of issues on friendships recently .
everyone perceives friendship in a different way .
at mac today .
jiamin andd shuni toldd me about backstabbing issues .
for once . i was SPEECHLESS .
well . we cant stop people from backstabbing us .
BUT . by not doingg it as well .
you're onee step closerr yea .

andd . its how youu interprete the 'stabbing' actually .
youu could take it the 2 ways .
- as an insult . andd be in constant dispute until you're BOTH sick ot it .
but . does that solve anything ?
the person backstabbed you . SO ? take it as a wake up call instead .
the person must have had SOME reason forr doing so .
findd out why . understand the other side of the story .
andd if youu insist that its just the person's personality .
then think .
do youu WANT a friend like that ?
arent youu glad that youu learnt the truth .
even if it WAS the hardd way .

findd friends who accept youu for the REAL you .
even if it means giving up the ones who are FAKE .
of all the people we meet .
only a few would follow us through . or maybe just one .
but isnt that enough ?

so think yea .
who are going to be the ones ?

DO TO OTHERS . WHAT YOU WOULD WANT DONE UNTO YOURSELF .
youu want them to trust you .
be the one who TRUSTS them first .

want them not to backstabb you .
be the one who DOESNT first .

want them not to lie to you .
DONT LIE to them .

want to have a true friend.
BE a true friend to someone first .

friendship is a TWO-WAY thing .
it takes two to make it work .

had track in the morning .
was sick . so coach told me to stop halfway .
we then talkedTALKEDtalked .
and i learned a whole different side of coach .
he even offered to pei me home .
but i had to work .
andd . i couldnt tell him THAT rights .
so i saidd i had a project nearby . and left .

at mos .
bought breakfast for auntie june and davin .
davin was really stressed the whole day .
we even quarrelled a few times .
OVER WEIGHING THE FRENCH FRIES .
yea .
thats how stressed he was )):
i almost criedd . almost couldnt take it .
as usual . xavier was there to say RELAX .
and when i realised what really happened .
i reaally wanted to help him .
but i dont know HOW .

yea . worked split shift .
and GOT A NEW PHONE *
my gosh !! after FIVE WHOLEEE YEARRS .
but the phone i wanted . went out of stock .
IN THE WHOLE SINGAPORE .
my gosh .
what are the odds ??
andd i was eyeing that phone FOREVER .
andd .
that CHENLONG has that phone !!
grrrrrrr .
haaas . jkjk =x

yeas .
made sure my hotdog got home to TEMPT qiang .
waahha .

my voice still aint t0o g0od .
dad got one PEE PAA medicine .
my gosh .
tastes funny .
andd i have to take it 3 times a day !! gosh .
hm . nothing le ba .
ahaa .
BYE ((:

SUPER SUPER SUPER headache today .
even now -_-"
grr .
lost my voice t0o . haha .
all i did today was .
LITERAALY .
eat& sleep . EAT& SLEEP .
gosh .
hm . i did ONE lit essay .
thats all .

cherie's finally back at HER house .
weeeeeeeee .
FINALLY . lolls =x
GUESS WHAT .
she's declared herself a lesbian .
lols .
*STARES AT KENNETH .
jkjk .

hm . yea .
BORED =D
gotta work LOADS THIS WEEEK .
think it was .
tuesday . wednesday . thursday . saturday . sunday .
GUULPPP .
so muchh forr freedom in the last weeeek .
EEESH .
gotta findd time to CHIONG homework t0o .
lalala .

we had yfc again today .
shuni . zhihao . junjie . jouhar and me went to yew tee to sell .
hm .
loads of people slammed the d0or at us .
andd i tell youu .
my that LAOGONG .
a GREAAAT SALESGUURL .
haahs .
she go everywhere . also cann seell dao .
i go . people all neverr even open the d0or .
PRO .

haha .
then . after awhile .
we all sat down to slack in front of a bball .
NATURALLY .
before long . they would challenge someone to play .
junjie . jouhar and zhihao were wearing jeans .
the opponents were wearing shorts .

so me andd shuni t0ok junjie's phone to film a COMMERCIALL*
shuni say lame .
so she didnt helpp me .
hahas .
we were advertising them wearing JEANS to play .
supeerr lame -_-"

hm . anyways . then went to celebrate father's day with the cousins x)
my grandmaa's in a wheeeelchairr now )):
it kinda pains to see that yea .
like . how time has moved so fast .
i neverr thought she wouldd get old .
haiis .

something still bugs me till now .
a few nights ago .
i slept aboutt 2am plus .
andd it was suddenly raining SUPER heavy .
andd i felt a reaally strange type of fear .
my heart was racing like siao .
andd i couldnt help feeling that SOMETHING was going to happen .

it was like . emptyness . vulnerability . nakedness .
i dont wana feeel that again =x


hm . anyways .
dadd saidd i cant afford to get below 75-80 forr any results anymore .
else he wont let me work .
im trying to get through PASSING .
anyways .
im not going to complain .
instead . im going to try HIS method forr once .
i cant afford to play around anymore .
i cant afford NOT to balance my life .
so . i havee to set my mindd straight .
no more distractions .
when i work . i work .
when i play . i play .
when i study . i study .

another thing . now that i think of it .
nobody TRUELY understands me .
because of ourr distance .
even cherie andd me are drifting .

now .
the people i thought were my friends kept telling me .
i understand them . blah blah .
but . never a word of the vice versa .
i dont even know WHERE i stand in theirr lives .
it could nowhere forr all i know .
i dont know .
but i never felt this way before .
andd i dont intendd to )):

we were supposed to do ourr project .
andd i was late .AGAIN .
dots .
im always late . ahaah . always oversleeep .
lalala .
SORRY .
so . waahh . we keeep on changing place .
from shalini house . to jurong mac . to library .
DOT .
in the endd . we only copy downn websites . LOL .

then . we saww the junjie ice skating .
LOL . darrnn funny . we keeep on making fun of him =x

we ended up sitting in mac to talk .
andd audii larhs .
that t0ot .
suddenly msg afiqah AKU BALIK . then he walk away . dots .
thats his pattern ba .
hahas .

me andd shuni go andd walk walk .
then me go andd work le .

today wierd wierd de .
usually . cann play and laugh andd talk around with chenlong .
but today .
everyone seemed in a SIAN m0od .
andd xavierr was SUPER angry over a quarrel .
had many laughs with rach and denyse today .
haha .,
they're seriously SIAN .

in a way . i admire them .
they can be so natural and open .
andd they have great friendships .
hahas .

went to sentosaa today .
with sharmini . julia . shuni . meizhu . jiamin . azureeen .
DIDNT GET TO TAN )):
not faairr lorhs .
hahas .
ended up beingg coldd instead .
DOT .
played aroundd awhile .
had some tiffs in between .
then we went to jurong .

we realised .
without money . and a curfew.
THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO IN SINGAPORE .
so boringg .
hahas .

we ended up eating .
and eating .
and eating .
and eating .
-_-"

die . i have to go and BURN IT OFF .
waahha xD
yeaas . anyways . thats pretty much it . LOL .
so boredd now )):

another yfc day .
this time for sharmini's grouup .
but we also helped christina's group . lolls .

we were making the coupons for the walk-a-jog thing .
the DARN CHOP . so ma fan .
hahas .
rui an was having a hardd time at first .
then sharmini made it l0ok SO EASY .
andd was doing it so fast .
LOLL .

was kinda sian though . lol .
then jiamin . shuni and i went to jurong point .
for SUSHI x))
wahahaha . andd walk aroundd lorhs .
nothingg much . haha .

IM REAALLY SORRY MISSEDD CHIAYIN LAOPO'S BDAE thing .
REAAALL REAALL SORRY LEHS .
reaally wished i could have gone with youu guys .
HAIS .
MISS YOUU ALL SO DARN MUCH .

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHIAYIN !!

see larhs .
because of the stupid quarrel .
i couldnt go to jianming kor's bdae thing .
andd chiayin laopo's bdae thing .

MY TWOO DEAREST FRIENDS bdae celebrations .
and i couldnt go .
i feeeel like suuchh an idiot lorhs .
IM REAALL REAALL SORRY .

another thing .
i cant seem to find the inspiration to write mdm chai's compo .
i've lost it .
haha .
im DUMB* now .
just a pile of waste sitting and wasting oxygen .
YAY .
-_________-"
praying forr inspiration .
wish me luck yea .
lalaa .

went forr cip this morning .
mum was still showing attitude and scolding me to wake up .

paired up with shuni and we went to batok .
SIAN .
seeing all those things again .
all the memories come back .
just then .
it RAINED TO DARNN HEAVILY .
ahahs .
then me andd shuni runRUNrun with the box .
the box wan break .
so .
we
stitched .
to.
PLASTIC BAGS !!
wahahaha .
haha . goingg with herr really cheered me up from yesterday .
but we earned alot kay .
WAHAHA =x

was all wet when i went to mos .
davin said i ws feverish .
dont know . LOL .
shivering all over .
hahas .

almost dropped the whole tray of f0od onto a customer .
TWICE !!
work was ohkay larhs .
JURAIMI AND CHENLONG .
TWO TOOTS . KEEP LAUGHING AT EVERYTHING I DO .
eeeeeeeeeeeeshh .

haha .
when closing time .
i saw all the miss call andd msg .
i could barely holdd in .
then . when davin talk to me .
i suddenly BURST .
i dont know why either .
i tried not to think about it .
i guess i was unconsciously .

i didnt dare to go home .
and chenlong let me stay at house .
say got BED .
CHOII . i then dont needd . ahahs .

THANKS SO MUCH .
CHENLONG . DAVIN . RACHEL . DENYSE . XAVIER .
forr cheering me up .
andd comforting me x)
AFIQAH . SHUNI LAOGONG also x)

but then .
maybe i WASNT meant to be lovedd .
aiyaa . i dont know .
my mum even chose MONEY over me .
thats goes to show what i mean to herr .
aiyaaa . I DONT KNOW .
lalala .

went forr cip this morning .
mum was still showing attitude and scolding me to wake up .

paired up with shuni and we went to batok .
SIAN .
seeing all those things again .
all the memories come back .
just then .
it RAINED TO DARNN HEAVILY .
ahahs .
then me andd shuni runRUNrun with the box .
the box wan break .
so .
we
stitched .
to.
PLASTIC BAGS !!
wahahaha .
haha . goingg with herr really cheered me up from yesterday .
but we earned alot kay .
WAHAHA =x

was all wet when i went to mos .
davin said i ws feverish .
dont know . LOL .
shivering all over .
hahas .

almost dropped the whole tray of f0od onto a customer .
TWICE !!
work was ohkay larhs .
JURAIMI AND CHENLONG .
TWO TOOTS . KEEP LAUGHING AT EVERYTHING I DO .
eeeeeeeeeeeeshh .

haha .
when closing time .
i saw all the miss call andd msg .
i could barely holdd in .
then . when davin talk to me .
i suddenly BURST .
i dont know why either .
i tried not to think about it .
i guess i was unconsciously .

i didnt dare to go home .
and chenlong let me stay at house .
say got BED .
CHOII . i then dont needd . ahahs .

THANKS SO MUCH .
CHENLONG . DAVIN . RACHEL . DENYSE . XAVIER .
forr cheering me up .
andd comforting me x)
AFIQAH . SHUNI LAOGONG also x)

but then .
maybe i WASNT meant to be lovedd .
aiyaa . i dont know .
my mum even chose MONEY over me .
thats goes to show what i mean to herr .
aiyaaa . I DONT KNOW .
lalala .

i reall need something to cheerr me up .
and i hope i found it .
JIANMING'S PARTY .

MONEY MONEY MONEY .
THATS MORE IMPORTANT TO THEM THEN THEIR CHILDREN ?!

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME THEY DID SOMTHING OUT OF LOVE ?
NOT BURDEN .
LIKE . IT JUST HURTS LARHS .

when mum picked me from mos .
we hadd a miscommunication .
so i was late 1 mins .
she was like .
WHAT IF THE POLICE FINE ME $30 .
YOU KNOW I WASTE THE PETROL MONEY TO COME AND PICK YOU.
YOU THINK WE GOT ALOT OF MONEY ARHS.

its like . i didnt ask herr to pick me .
i could have very well walked home at 11pm if that makes her happy .

NORMAL PARENTS PICK THEIR CHILDREN .
BECAUSE THEY SCARED SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN THIS LATE .
BUT HER ??
ITS LIKE . I AM BEING A BURDEN MAKING HER PICK ME .

MONEY MONEY MONEY .
thats all she talked about .
FINE . IF IM SUCH A BURDEN . WHY BOTHER ??
im useless anyways .

HOW YOU EXPECT YOUR CHILD TO FEEL AFTER SAYING ALL THAT ?
she still cann deny .
when its written all over her face .
not a word of SORRY .
only a SO ??

i cried till my whole face swollen .
still am .

work was kinda fun today .
i managed the cashier with little mistake .
WHEEEEEEE .
its an accomplishment for me .
cos . i usually screw the whole thing up =x

HAPPY BIRTHDAY .
MY DEAREST JIANMING KOR x))

CHERIE LAOPO.
the first step will be the hardest .
after you pass that .
it will be sm0oth sailing .
GOOD LUCK x)
andd thanks forr telling me the truth .
DONT THINK TOO MUCH .
no .
STOP THINKING .

hadd track this morning .
coachh came back .
hahas .
it was raining . so we hadd our whole training in the void deck .
mostly endurance work ba .
not so much on running .
HE LARHS .
went andd toldd everyone about the bet .
then they all think WAI WAI ~

i was actually kinda happy .
that i got through the whatseemedlike tough training,
without cramp and aches .

but . the moment i reached causeway .
PAIN ~
haas .
watched CARS with azureen. shuni and xukun .
wanted SHES THE MAN .
but . we decided to wait for sheela they all .
plus . the movie was kinda late .
and i wouldnt be in time for work .
but .
the movie was SO DARN CUUTE !! `
haaas .
laughh non stop .
the european ones .
SO CUUTE .
haha .

we also played arcade . HEHEHE .
and t0ok neoprints .
xukun was being very sporting .
we pulled him into the b0oth .
haas .
YAY XUKUN !! x))

had to practically run back to bpp in time for work .
ended still had time to sit and chat with denyse and rachel for awhile .
haas .
my gosh .
davin was making me very anxious againn .
i kept screwing things up . AGAIN .
he was like .
standing behind my shoulder .
i was seriously stressing .
luckily .
thanks to xavier and chen long .
they kept comforting me .
asking me to c0ol down .
THANKS SO MUCH .
i wont give up .
hahas . EVENTUALLY . i will show davin !! =DD
wahaha .
but he's nice t0o .
hadd alot of patience to put up with my blunders =x

but . somehow . they treat me TOO well .
that . i find i cant fit in .
oh wells . they still ROCK kay .
LOVE THEM TO BITS .
hahas ((:

my gosh .
i just the stupidest thingg .
ahas .

on my way backk from work .
i went to seee the letterr box .
andd i saw the militaryy thingy for my bro .
i rushedd up to tell himm .
andd . i thought it was my bro studying with my mum at the table .
cos . i didnt see clearly .
so . i went up to the guy .
and went .
'LALALA . YOU MUST GO ARMY . CANOT SLEEEP IN THE ARMY'
andd . when i caught a glimpse of his face .
IT WAS MY NEIGHBOUR .
-_______-"
my goshh .
was so paisehh . ahahs . i apologised TONS of times .
andd of course ran away .
hahas .
my wholee family was laughing so hardd .
andd he went 'its ohkay . i'll rememberr that the next time'
DOTS .

didnt go forr track .
hadd really badd phlegm thingy .
kept coughing andd PHLEGMING .
ehh . i dont know how to spell .

hahas .
workk was kinda fun today .
learnt how to usee the fryerr thingy .
HEH HEH .
but cant rememberr all the packaging andd stuuff .

didnt run today cos didnt bringg consent form .
hahas .
so we were the timers instead .
honestly .
it was kinda SHUANG* not running lorhs =x
lalas .
hahas .

anyways . track finished at 10 .
and maths started at 1.
so shuni andd i walked and WALKED AND WALKED .
goshh .
hahas .
somemore she ran in the morning .
lalas =x

my stomach was hurting DARN MUCH when we reached lot1 .
was practically sitting down every chance i got .
SORRY JIAMIN AND SHUNI .
hahas . was beingg suchh a BURDEN !!
anyways .
w sat at the library till 7 plus .
hahas .

ohkays . maybe im beingg abit wierd .
but to me .
the closest of friends .
does not necessarily refer to the ones i spend the most time with .
i could spend a ZILLION hours with you .
but if i find that cant relate .
to me . those arent my closest friends .

it also doesnt have to be the one who's knows EVERYTHING thats happening in my life .
or vice versa .
cos if you dont understand it .
whats the use ? its practically pointless .

like cherie .
we dont spend much time together now .
and we seldom talk .
and i dont have to tell herr everything for her to understand me .
she just does .
and she's still my bestBESTbest friend .
haas .

its just the feeling i suppose .
hahas .
told youu im wierd x)

i just want youu to be REAL with me .
andd . be by my side because youu want to .
not because there's some hidden motive .
or there's something youu wanna get off me .

with me till you've got what youu wanted .
then leave me .
SAVE IT .
im sick of beingg chucked aside when youu dont need me .
then come rushing back when you DECIDED i have a use .
im just sick of having people playing with my feelings .
coming andd going as they please .

haas . this is nobody in particularr .
if youu readd this and have THAT feeling .
yeshh . its youu . LALALAS =DD

spent the night talking with cherie .
before went to visit ahmaa . haas .
the reall onee . not peiyun =x LOL .

CHERIE XU SHI HUI .
i wish you all the best .
hahas . must keep your confidence all the way .
no turning back ohkay !!
rememberr ourr deaall horhs .
haas . hopefully we wont have to wait that long yea ? x)

its better that he get angry over the truth .
then being 'happy' remaining with this OBVIOUS wall between you two.
and . how long can he stay mad . you DID tell him thew truth yea ? x))
hahas .
dont worry . if he still doesnt get it .
i'll smack him forr you =DD wahah .
hope he doesnt seee this =x
*COUGH .

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